


wish i could

by Okumen



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-22 03:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3713215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okumen/pseuds/Okumen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He feels the younger man's warm skin against his palms as he gently cups his cheeks, sees his eyelids flutter and he consumes Kouen's lips as he claims them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wish i could

**Author's Note:**

> Errr, sort of a sister piece to "The way things are", but from Mu's perspective.

Mu watches breathlessly as Kouen's body moves on the rug. How he stretches in the fur and looks up at Mu standing above him, his face briefly going from relaxed to concerned. He sits up, and Mu kneels as he beckons him down. He feels the younger man's warm skin against his palms as he gently cups his cheeks, sees his eyelids flutter and he consumes Kouen's lips as he claims them, pushes him down onto the rug again. _So beautiful,_ he thinks, one hand moving to a broad shoulder. _So fucking gorgeous._

He doesn't want to give him up. He doesn't want to hand him over to someone else, not to _anyone_ , not even to whoever will become his wife in the future. He doesn't want to share his lover with the women that come to court seeking to bear the future heirs of the Kou Empire. He wants him to be _his_ and no one elses. But that's impossible. Kouen is a much too important person to be kept by the likes of a foot soldier, albeit, granted, a very important foot soldier.

 _But he makes such sweet, beautiful noises, both in pleasure and pain---_ Kouen kisses him, and Mu rolls over onto his back, pulls Kouen with him and the man lands on top of him. His hair hangs loose around his face, and when Mu peers up at him, Kouen tilts his head in inquiry. Mu simply shakes his head and runs his hands along the general's smooth back, feels skin and muscles move underneath his touch, feels it react, and he both sees and feels how Kouen stills, breath slowing, and he smiles up at him, a slow, lopsided smile, when Kouen closes his eyes. Mu can imagine him purr, had he been a cat. He certainly seems like one on many occasions, and it often amuses Mu, often irritates him.

For a man like Mu who wears his heart on his proverbial sleeve, he is unbelievably tightlipped about these particular feelings, and for a man like Kouen, who rarely lets his feelings show, to display such raw emotion, they are a complicated couple, even when it all could have been easy.

Nothing is simple when you are loved by Ren Kouen, First Prince of the Kou Empire. Nothing will ever be easy when you are unable to let yourself tell him how much you love him in return. For love him, Mu does. His heart aches for him, longs to hold him in his arms, but he doesn't want to fool himself. Because this will not last forever, even though they both wish that it would. _Nothing is ever simple when you're involved._ He doesn't say it to him, only keeps touching, softly, gently, pours his love into his fingers and hopes that Kouen will know, despite how he is unable to voice his feelings.

Kouen drops his head against Mu's shoulder, and puts his arms around him as well as he can, stopped from wrapping them around him completely by the surface underneath his back. His breath is warm and calm against Mu's neck, his nose barely touching skin. Mu turns his head and kisses the crown of Kouen's hair, as his fingers continues to trace lines along Kouen's back. He doesn't want to let him know what he is thinking about. Only wants him to know how much he cares, despite his inability to put the feelings in words so that the prince can hear them.

He feels Kouen's lips press against his shoulder, and feels a warmth spread inside of him. Kouen huffs in amusement, and Mu realizes that he must have made a sound of some sort, that the other man liked, because Kouen kisses his neck again, and then softly buries his teeth in his skin. Mu pulls Kouen tighter to his body, and he feels the corners of Kouen's mouth quirk slightly upward, as the man releases him with his teeth and presses another kiss to the now sore spot.

Knees move into the fur, and a hand brushes hair aside. Mu rubs a thumb over Kouen's skin, hands low on his back, and Kouen keeps kissing, biting, and licking that same spot, which is sure to bruise. That is probably his intentions, Mu realizes as his head is tilted back by a hand softly touching his throat and chin. Kouen shifts, one knee placed between Mu's legs, and Mu tries to look down but only sees down his nose. He turns his gaze back up to the ceiling, and after a few moments, closes his eyes and lets himself get sucked in by the touches. So tender and warm, even when the bites sting and draw blood.

Mu's hands drops from Kouen's back, and the man grunts in displeasure. He lifts his head away from Mu's shoulder to say something, but doesn't, when he notices Mu pressing the balls of his hands against his face. "What is it?" he asks instead, and Mu bites his lip. He removes his hands, puts them against the rug and pushes himself up so he leans against his arms. Kouen sits up as well, and Mu keeps his gaze locked on his lips. Moist and kissed swollen and red. _So pretty..._ "It's been so many years now..." he murmurs, and sees on Kouen's lips that the man is frowning. "It'll never be enough years." And he doesn't understand, will never be able to grasp how they fell for each other.

Kouen sighs, and tilts Mu's head up with a finger against his chin. "Look me in the eyes," he says, and Mu does. _So much emotion..._ When they're in public, or even when only one other person is in the same room as them, or close by, such emotions are never seen in Kouen's eyes. He wonders how much he hides when he's all alone. He knows that Kouen thinks about their relationship a lot, tries to find a way to keep them together even after they have to wed someone else, because every time they see each other in total privacy, he relays what he has come up with - or haven't come up with - in hopes that Mu will agree to the ideas, even when they are so unreal that not even an insane man would say yes, not even Kouen.

He snaps back to attention when Kouen continues speaking, calming words and a hand caressing his cheek putting him at ease. Sinks into the kiss he is given and adds the "I love you" to the tally that he keeps. Because if he ever gets the chance to tell him how he feels, with nothing holding him back, he will tell him, as many times and more, as Kouen has told him. He not only owes it to the man, but desires it.

_Love you, love you, love you...._

Burying his face against Kouen's chest, he repeats the words in his mind, wishes for a time where he can say them out loud, knowing that they are unlikely to ever do. But he can wish and he can hope. They both can, and no one but them will get hurt. They don't need to hurt anyone else, and Mu will keep on wishing for a day to come, when he won't have to hurt Kouen by never telling him how he feels with all of his heart.


End file.
